You need somewhere to stay?
You can stay at my house and not pay bills or rent or do anything to helpful to show your appreciation.
You need some money?
Here is some and sure you can never pay me back.
You want to have a party?
Sure have it here and don’t offer to help clean up.
You need a ride somewhere?
Sure I’ll take you and you don’t have to give me money even though I made a special trip just for you.
You broke up with your partner?
Stay with me and don’t worry when everything goes to shit and you can always move out and leave me with 6 months left of rent.
You need me to pick you up some beer?
Yeah, let me just drop everything I am doing and we can go.
You need someone to cover your shift?
Yeah, let me cancel my plans so I can work your shift so you can go out with your friends.
Would it actually kill me to say no. What the actually fuck is wrong with me?